I have always hate the sight of people leaving me................but this time, it was me. I am the one who leave.
When I dropped the bomb to my colleagues, their natural reaction were to ask why. I had replied them with all sort of answers. different answer to different individual. I hope they don't get together and discuss my departure because if they really do, my poor colleagues will think I deceived them or something. :D
but technically, I didn't lie. All of the answers that I give, all the reasons, they really do contribute to my departure from the program. but they weren't the deciding factor.
The deciding factor was when I started to feel, lethargic until it became,
'I don't want to wake up anymore'.
Nothing motivated me to wake up and I hate everything that I was doing at the moment.
Now to some of you, that might have been a childish reason to quit but to me, it's something serious. Something that requires me to do some soul searching.
Waking up, every morning, is a gift from Allah. Allah had chosen me, ME, to be his khalifah on this earth but how did I respond to that?
It's horrible, I know but it was what I felt. I tried to control it but it worsen day by day until I decided I had enough.
and that my friend, is how I made my decision. After all, I am widely known for putting my own happiness first before the rest. I am selfish that way. :D
***
Graduation googles
"The nostalgic feeling one has about a time or someone in their life when it is about the end, even if the time was completely miserable."
I had it. My colleagues weren't of any help either. One of my colleague even blurted out 'lepas ni dah tak de lah tirah,'
KENAPA TIBE-TIBE SEMUA ORANG JADI BAIK NI?????!
*nangis*
***
I love all of them but if I ever going to do any surprise for anyone, I wouldn't organise it with them. They are the worst surprise party organiser ever! and they have loud voices too! I've heard too many 'eh tutup sikit nanti tirah nampak', I almost ask, 'hey guys, just include me in on the planning ok,'
Nevertheless, I still love all of you for being so sweet and cute. I sincerely hope the best for you, may you be blessed in everything you do and stay happy. :D
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