BOOK NOTES: YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE

Assalamualaikum  

Let me put it out there, I don't normally pick up money related books. Why? Maybe because of all those time spend thinking about money on my 8-5 (I work as a statutory/financial analyst), I don't think I want to spend my time outside of work thinking more about money. Interestingly, this may be one of the reason why I was so bad at managing my personal finances. :P I simply don't care.

Then pandemic came, with so much uncertainty on the future, even the laziest of them all, me, was force to think about my own future survival. So I picked up this book and oh myyy, the experience is very far from what I have expected. I'd expected a budgetting book, book outlining practical ways on how I can earn more money or how I could save more etc etc. After all, aren't all financial books like that? Boy was I wrong. Well, although the later chapters did give some example on how you can do all that, the main theme of the book is not budgetting, but to transform your relationship with money.

Who should read it?

I wanted to say all, Everyone who earns and spend money need to read this.....but, I think it's a bit insensitive to think that everyone has the luxury to do all the steps in the book. The book discussed about money and financial independent as if everyone has a choice. While I am a big believer in "everyone has a choice,", I also understand, that sometimes, our choices are limited, and in those limited choices that we have, financial freedom is a bit far from reality.

So who do I think could benefit from the book? Everyone, who's not fighting for survival, who earns and spend money.

What I got from the book

Top quotes from the book

• Money is something you trade your life energy for. You sell your time for money.
• It is easier to tell our therapist about our sex life than it is to tell our accountant about our finances.
• We think we work to pay the bills - but we spend more than we make on more than we need, which send us back to work to get the money to spend to get more stuff- that sends us back to work again!
• Strategies you come up with for yourself in your own life often will be much more powerful than the advice of others.

The money trap

You know how we always asked someone "What do you do for a living?" whenever we want to know someone's job right? But are we really, making a living? at the end of our workday, are we more alive than we were at the beginning? How many of us clocked out thinking, "wow, what a day well spent. I can't wait to do this again tomorrow!" We aren't making a living, we're making a dying! Exhausted bodies and empty soul. Working more but enjoying life less.

Plus, these wrong terms that we use:

1. Consumers - we are expected to buy everything from hope to happiness, we no longer live life, we consume it
2. Disposable income - what else would we do with disposable income besides dispose of it?

What is money?

Money = life energy. We sell our time for money. 

and what is life energy? Basically how much your real hourly wage. 

and what is your real hourly wage? It's your basic salary minus cost associated to the job (commuting, costuming, meals, daily decompression, escape entertainment, vacations, job related illness) 

What is work?

Have you wonder what is work? Why do you need to work? I know a lot will say to get paid but do you know that there is a study on work satisfaction and surprise surprise, growth potential, communication channels, interest in work and recognition make a job satisfying - not pay.

So with this, now we know that work has two function:

1. Material, financial function - getting paid

2. Personal function - emotional, intellectual, psychological and even spiritual

This is where everything go haywire. A lot of us mix function 1 with function 2. While paid employment is exclusive to work, personal function is not. You can get the same emotional, intellectual, psychological and even spiritual outside of work. 

A lot of us now put more important to the time spend at work. We think we are our job. We identify our self worth from our job. Jobism (like racism but towards people job) is real. We judge people by how much money they are making. Value of leisure has dropped. Leisure now leads more often to loneliness and boredom, how can it not, life outside the workplace has lost vitality and meaning. Even the word time off is wrong, it's as thought leisure were just a few minutes of recuperation before we're back "on" a once again productive human being.

What the writer tried to preach now is that, all moments in your life matter. We need to reclaim control so that we have more moments to spend as we will, not as we must. The writer wants us to break the link between work and wages. We need to acknowledge who we really are.

Eg. Let's say you are a natural born teacher but you took a job as computer programmer because you can make more money, instead of saying "I'm a programmer" say "I'm a teacher but currently writing computer programs to make money". This way, our inner self matches our outer self too.

How this concept has help me?

If we are being real, I am still me guys, no book on productivity has manage to turn me into a do-er rather than a procrastinator, so no surprise, I still am shamefully wasting my time, but to the very least, the book helps me to realised that each purchase equals to a certain amount of my time. At least now, before I impulse purchase anything, I would convert that into hours and think is it worth my 2 days (example) of my time?

 In a completely different note, the book managed to make me think hard on my retirement plan. Do I really have to wait till 50 to retire? Am I okay with deferring my life for the sake of extra money? That, I need to rethink.

And in term of breaking the link between work and wage, I have no problem with that. I have always define my job as it is, a mean to support my various hobbies. Work is just a small portion of my life, and now I know how to define myself.

"I'm a writer but currently analyse financial data to make money," gittew.

***

What is enough?

Enough is when we have:

1. Everything we need
2. Nothing extra to weigh us down, distract or distress us
3. Nothing we've bought on credit
4. Nothing we never used and are slaving to pay off.

I love how the book ask ourselves to define what is enough for us. It's not some budgeting tool that tell us saving has to be 30% bla bla bla. But the book help us to be aware of our enough point. The writer wants us to get clear about money without cutting off individuality. It is not less is more, but what we ourselves consider enough. 

How this concept has help me?

For the first few months, of course, I still shop like there is no tomorrow. zzzzzzz.... but as I became more and more aware of my enough point, as I keep asking myself do I receive fulfillment and satisfaction from this item I just purchase? Am I chasing over cheap thrill instead of deep thrill (the purchase leaves me satisfied, content, and at peace)? Over time, I somehow stop spending. It's fascinating, really, for me to stop spending lol, but suddenly, I don't feel like I need that limited edition tudung anymore, or that newly restocked shirt, or the newly release gadget, this is what the book calls as accidental saving, I accidentally save some money without even trying! I wasn't depriving myself of anything, really, I still buy things that I love, but as I become more and more aware of my enough points, there is just simply not much thing I want to buy anymore. In January alone, I manage to save around RM2k plus. Seriously that is huge for me, someone who used to zero out her bank account just few months back!

***

What doesn't work for me?

Towards the end of the book, they were some steps on how to maximise your saving through investment and more. Again, I am not fond of any "how to" steps to earn money so I skipped the whole chapter.

***

All in all, this book is a life changing book for me. It has shift my relationship with money 360 degrees. <3

BOOK NOTES: YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE

Wednesday, February 17, 2021

THE PERFECTION TRAP

 

Assalamualaikum

Recently, my company organize this new female mentoring program for us. It's a small book club kind of circles (4 mentees and 1 mentor in each circle) where we all need to read this book "How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back From Your Next Raise, Promotion, or Job".

First and foremost, let me talk about the book. I haven't finish the book as I want to follow the course of the program, but from the chapters that I've read, some habits are nothing new, bad habits that we ourselves know we have. However, some are really eye-opener. I find myself doing this a lot while reading the book, I stop and reflect on things that happened/did not happen because of the way I reacted to a certain situation.

I personally like the book. I think it’s a shame that it’s marketed only towards professional female adult. I think this book could benefit everyone; men/women, professional/non professional, matured/young.

Onto our mentoring session. The chapter that we discussed for our first session is "The Perfection Trap". Here is what I find interesting; we have so much in common! Some of them are:

1. When giving example on unhealthy perfectionism within oneselves that we need to fix, our mentor mentioned about being so particular about font type and size. The rest of us literally went OMG me too! Well, what are the odds that all of us can relate? haha.
2. While other mentees in the call are all successful woman with good career progression, we all confess that at a point in time, we all preferred to work with male bosses than women due to this unhealthy perfectionist women tend to be.
3. We think men are a good sales person. Although not all, some really know how to sell themselves even when they know nothing, which is a good thing in a way, because they are always ready to take opportunity whenever it comes. The “fake it till you make it” thing. Women on the other hand are a bit reluctant to take up offers in areas that they are not quite well versed on and tend to self-doubt a lot.
4. We all take a long time to draft emails. We read emails over and over and over again to make sure we use the right wording.

That font and email thing is so simple but why do we fall on this perfection trap? It’s not like it will change the business or anything. -_-

***

What the book says about "The Perfection Trap"

1. Women are more vulnerable to perfection trap. Why? Because we were brought up that way. Thinking back, we are thought to be graceful, to be obedient. Girls are always expected to be a certain way; speak a certain way, sit a certain way, eat a certain way and many more. Therefore we react by striving to meet the expectation, to get everything right, to be perfect. Whereas boys are given much more latitude. Imagine a naughty kid, a girl will be seen as disgraceful while a boy, well, boys will be boys they say.
2. The cost of falling into the perfection trap - As a boss, the person would be over controlling and judgmental; he/she will micromanage everything. He/she will want to be involve in everything; does not delegate work which in return is self sabotaging as he/she would get tired and stress from doing all the work. Other than that, from employees POV, having a perfectionist boss will limit their growth. 
• They will not take responsibility for their own work as they have this default mentality that their boss will finalised everything. 
• This can also limit creativity of the team members. No one wants to put out new idea if the idea is not throughly thought through yet.
3. Perfection doesn’t exist. People will make mistake.
4. The healthy perfectionist - He/she notice the detail, but considers things in a larger context.This person is good at delegating, knows how to prioritise and get comfortable taking measured risk.

***

Why I think this can be applied outside of professional setting?

If you’re a mom, ask yourself this; are you handholding your child in every turn of their life because you want them to be perfect? Do you do house chores yourself because if others do it, they’ll never be able to match your standard? If yes, then you too have fall into the perfectionist trap.

***

I guess everyone’s mantra should be this going forward,

Perfection does not exist.

THE PERFECTION TRAP

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

FICTION

Assalamualaikum

I have a question,

"Is reading fiction better than watching a drama?" 

like any normal person with question living in this era, I googled it. I need to know. 

Why is this important to me? I am addicted to TV that is why lol. I consume my fiction from TV so I don't think I need it from books as well and when I have enough willpower to finally sit and read, it has to be a non-fiction.  To me, non-fiction bring new value to my life as opposed to fiction books.

So, is one really better than the other?

Not surprisingly, a lot of articles backed by scientific research concluded that reading is better. I won't argue. However, I would like to also bring light to the fact that with most scientific studies based on people's reaction and development,  the result almost never shows 100%, because humans are not a fixed variable, no one person is the same than the other. In fact, 2:55pm me writing this on 22 October 2020 is not the same me who publish this tomorrow at 12pm on 23 October 2020. So when studies shows that "Most do bla bla bla," "most people reacted xxxx," we have to be open to the fact that they are people out there that don't react like most people.

***

The articles said that watching tv is a passive activity whereas reading is an active one. One very important reason they point out is the fact that when you watch tv, you passively accept the digested information rather than process it yourself. Reading on the other hand, makes you imagine stuff and process the information on your own, therefore making your brain really active.

While I agree with what they say about reading fiction, I would like to argue that watching fiction is not as passive as it seems to be. For me at least, I don't take things on the surface level. I processed my dramas too, evidently from various drama reviews I've written on this platform.

And if I want to be petty and further argue the points in my favour, remember the time when people wanted to check out Parasite after they won so many awards, only for the majority of them (especially from english speaking countries) to be disappointed with the fact that they have to read (subtitles) too. So, technically, when I watch a drama, that is also me reading for hours :P I mean, a korean mini series is around 16 episodes, imagine that 16 episodes worth of subtitles, how many pages in a book that is?

So while I still agree that reading is generally still a better option, watching fiction is not the bad end of the stick either. Especially now when TV is not just about romance and makjang (soap opera) anymore. There is so much more we can learn from TVs as long as you pick the right thing to consume. For example, in this twitter post made by Dr Beni Rusani on Laryngoscope, if you see the comments, most already know this device from various TV series they watched!

I guess, in the end, the conclusion is this, you do you (overly used conclusion). I personally don't like to read fiction but it's not that I shut fiction completely off my life. I have multiple moments when I picked up a fiction books and love it but generally, if I were to choose one over another, I would prefer to just watch my dramas and as for reading, I leave it for my non-fiction.

In the end, I guess, this is just another episode of me trying to justify my choices in life. haha. Luckily I am not an influencer lol.

FICTION

Friday, October 23, 2020

DISCOVERY OF THE WEEK: ON LOVE

Assalamualaikum

In one of the chapters I read this week from "Reclaim Your Heart" by Yasmin Mogahed, this was written:

"

I reflected on something a friend of mine had told me. She described how it felt to be with the person she loved. In her words, the whole world disappeared when they were together. The more I reflected on her statement, the more it affected me, and the more it made me wonder.

As humans, we are made to feel love and attachment towards others. This is part of our human nature. While we can feel this way about another human being, five times a day we enter into a meeting with our Lord and Creator. I wondered how often we ever felt the whole world disappear while in His presence. Can we really claim that our love for Allah is greater than our love for anyone and anything else?

"

***

Rasa macam kena lempang, tak ke? It's true right? We always talk about our love towards another human being as if it's the best feeling evahhh, as if there's no one I love most in this world except for that person which no oh, we're supposed to love God most. God, followed by Muhammad S.W.T., then everyone else. That's the hierarchy. Everyone knows that, we think that's how we felt, but do we really?

Tepuk dada tanyalah iman. T___T

May God forgive us all and ease our way towards Him. <3

DISCOVERY OF THE WEEK: ON LOVE

Friday, January 10, 2020

TREVOR NOAH: BORN A CRIME

Assalamualaikum

Before I start, let's agree on one thing, I don't read books. After years of trying to live pretentious life as book lover, I have now come to term that I will never ever be attracted to fill my time with reading books. -____- So how to cheat reading but still want the same benefit? Audiobook!

I mentioned about Scribd here before, at the time, Scribd was sufficient. However, the longer I am with Scribd, the more I realised that their book selections are quite limited too. There are some books that I would love to listen to but for whatever reason, it's not in Scribd. Like this book for example. So for this book solely, I have to subscribe to Audible. The plan was I was supposed to use Audible during the free trial period only and purchase the book using the free trial credit, but of course, procrastinator me forgot to cancel the membership. Yup you read it right. I am now paying $23.94 monthly on books alone ($8.99 for Scribd and $14.95 for Audible) -_________-

Picture credit

My rating: 10/10

This book sets the standard so high for other biography. This man is both smart and funny. There's this one time where I laughed hysterically (sorry kereta sebelah you had to witness this), in my car, during peak hour, not caring even one bit about the building traffic due to road construction. I enjoyed traffic thanks to Trevor.

In a separate note, because I only listened to the audiobook, I am not so sure whether he's a good writer or a good storyteller. I wonder what it feels like to actually read the book using my own inner voice. Would the book be as good?

 Things I picked up from the book

1. Good men are raised by queen. Trevor's mum is seriously the bom dot com. Patricia is strong, independent, live by principle, free spirited and at times, kind. She's such an inspiration. She's the reason Trevor is the Trevor we know today, gentleman and sweet. I remember watching his first Netflix standup thinking, wow this guy know how to respect women. 

2. In some part of the world, domestic violence is still being brush off as nothing, even by the police officers. Take Patricia for example. She is strong. A woman like her will never ever put up with domestic violence. The first time it happened, she reported it straight away....but the police did nothing! In fact the police was like "You must did something to make him hit you. You must have made him angry,". grxcvifdngnvikjn. Even if she did, no reason is a valid reason to hit someone!

3. Know a lot of languages = social chameleon. People generally have some kind of attachment towards our own spoken language. In a foreign place, speaking the language is key. Although Trevor was always the strange one everywhere (for being coloured), he was able to survive anywhere because he knows a lot of language and dialect.

4. People spend too much time overthinking things, we lose a lot of chances along the way. Sometimes, good rare chances. (The story of Trevor and his first crush).

5. I want to emphasize once again, Patricia is Queen! She's my new role model.

TREVOR NOAH: BORN A CRIME

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Update on 2018 reading challenge

Assalamualaikum

Hi.

When I was younger, I thought whatever comes to adult, they come easy. Money, freedom, the willpower to maintain good habits, I thought it’ll be effortless. I used to believe that when I’m 30, it would be very easy for me to exercise, have a healthy life, save money, solat on time, read Quran everyday, well, basically everything that a good responsible adult would do.

Fast forward to now, in 2 years I’ll be 30....happy to report, I am already the adult that I envisioned myself to be!

 -___________-

Not.

I hate to break your bubbles little one but things don’t change easily. If you’re lazy when you were young, chances are, you’re still very lazy when you’re older. Because of this, starting around 2 or 3 years ago, I started to have new years resolutions and goals to at least keep me on track through out the year. Emphasis on through out. We all know that did not happen last year. I woke up in December with a lot of goals unchecked so I rushed to finish everything. This is not “through out”, this is be good in December only -_____-

This year I try to plan better. Especially on my reading challenges. Please if I have to read six books in a month again, I’ll puke.

And guess what guys, I found something that’ll ease the whole thing; audiobooks! Well, to be honest, I copied Azreenchan. This is her idea, her discovery....She failed her 2017 reading challenge too so she’s the one who’s finding ways to make it better this year, me? I am just a silent reader who creepily copy everything. *side eyes* 

But hey, it works for me, the BBNU on this reading journey, so I thought I’ll recommend it to you guys too.

There are various channels you can use, Azreen lists it here. I tried only Perpustakaan Negara and Scribd so here is my thoughts:

1. Perpustakaan Negara

Free. This is a major plus point. The concept is like the traditional library. You browse for books, find the ones that you like and you borrow them. You’ll get to borrow them for a week I think and it’ll gets automatically return to the library. Suitable for beginners trying to convert to reading/listening to e book. However, since this is free, their selections of books are quite limited. 

2. Scribd

Free trial for one month. $8.99 approximately RM32.80 monthly. Wide selections, unlimited supplies, 32.80 is actually a cheaper option to our usual RM60 something per book. No time limit, you can save books on your digital shelves, you can make bookmarks, I love Scribd.

My 2018 book challenge so far (title in bold is the ones that I recommend):

1. Shyness is not a Character Flaw! Surviving in a World of Extroverts (ebook from PN)

2. Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead ( audiobook from PN)

3. I am Malala: The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban (audiobook from PN)

4. #GIRLBOSS (audiobook from PN)

5. Adulthood Is a Myth (Sarah’s Scribbles) (ebook from Scribd)

6. Sounds Like Me: My Life (So Far) in Song (audiobook from Scribd)

7. Lady Stuff: Secrets to Being a Woman (ebook from Scribd)

8. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life (audiobook from Scribd)

Several more to go before I tick off this reading challenge from my goals!

Update on 2018 reading challenge

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Dumped

Assalamualaikum

Last year I picked up a book from local writer titled "Dumped: A Journey of Lessons through Breakups, Mishaps and Misadventures" because I thought I was dumped and this book looks like something I needed at that time. lol. Although later I realised that I wasn't actually dumped (I know right, how blur can I be to interpret things the wrong way), I am still glad that I picked up this book.

This book is written by a Malay girl about her past mistakes and her failed relationship. What an odd combination I thought at first because honestly speaking, Malay, girl and speaking publicly about relationship do not go well with our traditional community. I mean, Malay girl was supposed to be shy, and naive and wait for our timba. Writing, talking about relationship, especially about how many guys you dated, guys you had flings with, is uncalled for a Malay girl. 

While I was reading her book, I got afraid, on her behalf. She wrote everything in detail. When she met those guys, where she met them, who they were in her life (not actual name), what went wrong and everything. I was afraid because reading those details, if I were her friend, or someone who knows her personally, it's easy for me to connect the dots and guess exactly who is who. Is she ok with that? For people to realise who she likes...even the ones she kept secret?

This scares me a lot. 

In my 7 years of blogging, never had I written anything about my actual relationship with any boy. Not that I have been in any but seriously, how naive do you thing I am to not have any near-relationship experience? lol. So I dropped vague hints here and there but it's so vague you could never guess who what where how why when. Which I was definitely okay with, until recently....because, this writer, Amal Nadiah, she showed me that all the mistakes, those fail relationships, they are a part of you. You can't fully tell a story about you if you omit that area of your life....and, is it really that scary when people find out that you like a guy? still? We're not in kindergarten anymore. No one will point at me and say "eeeeeeeee athirah suka xxxx eeeee athirah suka xxxx," 

No we're not and to be honest, I was just overthinking. As per Chris Rock, "no one gives a f*** about you," Besides, I think it will be nice for my future self to remember how at 27, there were moments where I could even thought that I was dumped haha....

p/s: next post would be about my recent near-something experience! we'll see... ok maybe not.....most probably not....ok never. haha.

Dumped

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

BOOK REVIEW: HAPPRY POTTER AND THE CURSED CHILD

Assalamualaikum

When I told Fad I rate this 2 stars in Goodread, she was like "haaaaa tak best langsung ke?"and I have a hard time replying. The thing is, I enjoy the book. I surprisingly seriously do and the fact that it's a script makes it easier and faster to read, which is exactly what I need right now. For those of us who can't even go to the play, this script make us imagine a lot of things. I for example wondered how did they create the 2nd water task where they blew up Cedric and all. Making movies about magic is peanut but if you could pull a play, that's just mindblowing!

However, the fact that it's a script is also a minus point for the book. There's too much plot holes.There were a lot of areas that I wish were explored more...like the alternate reality thing. I wish we had that scene longer....I wish Albus has more time to repent on what he did..I wish Snape airtime (or is it booktime? storytime) were longer...and errrmmmm to explain in detail on how can someone like Voldermort, who'd spent most of his time human-form-less, can have a daughter?

Then again, JK Rowling could just poop Harry Potter, I'd still buy it.

BOOK REVIEW: HAPPRY POTTER AND THE CURSED CHILD

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Reading List: July 2016

Assalamualaikum

Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........................................................... I think this book is overrated? there I said it. It's overrated. Don't get me wrong, it's an ok book with ok narration, its just...I don't think this book is best-selling material. I mean if it is a best-selling, you'd expect your mind to go keebaboommm and make you realise how wrong/right you've been living your whole life. but this one, hmmmmm. I mean, most of us adult would have already known all that were highligted. one person wrote this review on Goodreads,

"SPOILET ALERT! I am going to save anyone who thinks they need to read this book time & money by summarising the entire book in the next two sentences: Things change. Learn to adapt."

Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin

One day, since I was bored, I randomly picked this book from Dik Yah's bookshelf and I was super excited to learn that this book has been made into a movie starring Ginnifer Goodwin! *girlcrushmodeon*. I haven't seen the movie yet but I can clearly picture Ginnifer playing Rachel...beautiful with adorable smile, it's definitely her! However, as much as I love her, I can't say that I enjoy the book. The overall plot is a mess...and for me, it's morally wrong and here's why:

1. Rachel is a 30 years old successful, career woman. I can't believe that at 30, this woman still succumb to bullying. I mean, haven't you had enough already? Most people would have escape Darcy-kind-of-friend by that age. I ditched mine at 9! (will blog about this soon). She's a pushover. It took her 30 years to realise what she had with Darcy is not real friendship...if that 'mistake' never happen, she would have let Dex be Darcy's forever!

2. I know that Rachel is the main character of the book and almost all main characters get their happy ending, some writers even forgo logic and common sense. With this book, Emily Giffin forgo moral values and trust between us, muggles. To help Rachel gets her happily ever after, she kept pushing that it's ok to sleep with your best friend's fiance if your best friend is a b***h. Defend all you want, for me, it's an affair. I am not saying that Dex should marry Darcy. That would be very wrong. He loves Rachel, that's for sure, but their decision to have an affair over confessing, that's disturbing, If I were Darcy, well, a lesser b***hy version of Darcy, I would have preferred them to come clean. People fall out of love, it happens...however, it's more honorable to come clean and man up if you want out since you started the relationship together, you should end it, together.

That's what I think. peace!

Reading List: July 2016

Sunday, August 14, 2016

UPDATE ON 2016 RESOLUTION : READ 26 BOOKS

Assalamualaikum

We had a discussion on why we all read lesser books than what we're used to and we all agree it was because of our smartphones. They're so convenient. They're always there, with us, 24/7...we want them, just grab them. As opposed to books. Books took so much effort. First, you have to search for them, dust them, find good place with good lighting then only you can start to read. This process took at least 5 minutes.

I guess this must be the reason why digital books are much more popular lately. They see the potential of our portable devices and they exploit them. Good businessmen they are. They calculated everything except for one thing, women's emotional and sentimental state.

Women, being sentimental creatures that we are, loves physical books better than digital ones...well, at least people in my circle are. Among all my friends, almost all women likes physical books and surprisingly, almost all men likes digital books. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, remember?

The smell of new papers, the tingling feeling you felt as you touch the book's cover, it's weight, the satisfying feeling of looking, staring at your mini library knowing you've read those books...you can't beat that. :))))) though Farid came and point at each one's of my books and said "pembunuh pokok" repeatedly.  whatevsss pfftttt!

"Read 26 books in 2016"

That's one of my new years resolution for this year...I borrowed (more like copied) this resolution from Azreen. Her resolution is to read as much books as her age..so get it? 26 years equal 26 books. I am slightly distracted earlier this year but I'm hoping that I would focus for this coming months.

Pray for me guys!

UPDATE ON 2016 RESOLUTION : READ 26 BOOKS

Friday, June 3, 2016

Reading challenge

How am I going to read 17 books in two months?? sigh. This is what happen when you're over confident. You set unrealistic goal. T-T

BTW, The Rose Petal Beach arrives today. :)

Dorothy Koomson's hard cover book for only 17.90!!!! Now this is a crazy sale! Bought it from bookxcessonline.com urgently cause it was the last day of the sale only to realise, they're always on sale. 

-____________-

Anyways, after much trial and error,now I know for sure which genre I enjoy to read. picked up about 3 chick flick books, give up halfway. Pure romance on boy meet girl boy fall in love live happily ever after are too simple.......and bore me to death. (It's really a miracle that I finished that "Finding Audrey").

I like thriller but not too scary...lol what am I getting at? Dorothy's Koomson's thriller books are perfect for me. I read comments on Goodreads that the changing narrative viewpoint that she use in all her thriller books are confusing. they say they can't relate with every "I" she's mentioning cause she keep changing it but I LOVE it the most! I love that I can get inside minimun of 3 people's mind from just one book.

Take "Ice Cream Girl" for example. I love that I can read the teacher's mind...all the twisted thing in him...and in "Women He Loved Before", I love to read diaries!

Maybe I can. Maybe I can read 17 books in 1 month. I'll start with this The Rose Petal Beach. I can reduce my TV hours..... I can definitely do that. pftttt this is easy.

but first let me finish this Elementary episode.  

Reading challenge

Friday, November 20, 2015

Eleanor and Park

Assalamualaikum,

I decided to read this book when I needed something light. Something to bring me out of the seriousness of work. A total chick flick. A story about boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after. 

And this book delivers that perfectly. Nothing more, nothing less. Everything revolves around Eleanor and Park and how they fall in love and how they miss each other and all. 

*** 

Teens might love this book. I love some parts of it too. Sometimes I caught myself grinning unnecessarily over mushy mushy teenage love between Eleanor and Park. What John Green says is true. The book kind of reminded you what it's like to be young and fall in love. 

*** 

I will never ever ever ever ever ever shops at teen's sections again. It’s call teen's sections for a reason.

Eleanor and Park

Sunday, August 24, 2014

The Woman He Loved Before

'Are you working towards some big goal in life? In the big picture, do you know what you want?'

'I thought I did. I thought I had it. but it didn't last. At that time, I thought what I wanted, what my big ambition in life was - wait for it - to be happy.'

'And it wasn't?'

'No. it soon became apparent that happiness shouldn't be a destination in your life. It should be part of the journey of your life. Profound, I know, for someone as shallow as me, but take it from a man who knows: putting everything on hold to achieve the one thing you think will make you happy will actually mean that you're miserable along the way to get there, and when you get there, you might find that the thing you wanted doesn't make you as happy as you thought it would. Or worse, you've completely forgotten how to be happy.'

-Extracted from The Woman He Loved Before

***

Assalamualaikum. :)

Sometimes I wish I can write as good as Eve. She wrote her diary - amazingly. I admit I secretly skipped Libby and Jack part - to read Eve's diary. I understand why Libby was secretly reading it too. I understand Libby's obsession towards Eve. because I can feel it too. Eve's life may not be perfect, but she is.

***

I think this will be the last Dorothy Koomson's book I read. It has been wonderful but I have to move on. She writes good stories about women and their insecurities and how they overcome it. but I think if I continue reading her books, I'll start having insecurities myself because I share one common thing with all of her main character - I over think. often. 

The Woman He Loved Before

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Book review: Aku terima nikahnya by Hasrizal Abdul Jamil

Assalamualaikum. :) 

Thought: Despite the title, the book touches so much more than just topics related to marriage.

Points taken:

1. Everything begins at home. 

Although most deny it, problems begin at home. It is wrong to think that all the world problems we're having right now are independent from household problems. They’re related.

Parents carry a lot of responsibilities. They’re shaping the future generation.

Children are the exact replica of their parents. They mirrored their parents’ behaviour all the time. Therefore, if your child is acting out, evaluate yourself as parents before you blame your child. Parents should change first if they want their children to change.

2. Good beginning doesn’t necessarily guarantees good ending.

It’s good to have good beginning. It’s good that you start your marriage following the right way taught by Rasulullah. but good beginning doesn’t necessarily guarantees good ending. It is a continuous process. Until you reach the end, don’t stop making efforts.

This is a wakeup call for me as I always (always) emphasis on good beginning when there is soo much more than just the beginning.

3. Muslim these days keep simplifying and complicating Islam.

Some use logic to reason everything.
Some complicate things.
Some use Dalil and Hadith for personal advantage.

This is all wrong in sooooo many ways.

4. Marry someone with the aim of giving, not receiving. 

If you marry someone with the aim of receiving, you’ll be having expectations and if your expectations aren’t met, you’ll be unhappy.

 It’s very important to remember no one else is responsible for your happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfil them and make their life better and that’s their reason for getting married. People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married. If you are currently not happy with yourself, don’t like yourself, don’t like the direction your life is going now, it’s important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage. Don’t bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them. 

 Source: 10 ways to avoid marrying the wrong person 

Stop dreaming. There is no prince charming. No one is going to come and save you from your miserable life. If you’re unhappy, take your own initiative and change it. You are in charge of your own happiness.

Fix yourself first before you even think about marriage.

Little flaw: It’s actually 3 books combined into 1. Therefore, some of the points are repetitive.

Book review: Aku terima nikahnya by Hasrizal Abdul Jamil

Monday, March 3, 2014

'snake has the prettiest smile' - Dorothy Kooson

Assalamualaikum. :)

HI!

As mention here, I had recently started reading and to my surprise, I kinda like it. Ever since ‘Coolhunters’, i’d read five novels. Five are nothing? For someone like me, five are impressive. That 5, make me a reader again. I am not that brainless, ignorant girl anymore.

This is the 3rd novel I read. And I don’t like the main character. I will never like someone like him. A husband who thinks it’s ok to cheat as long as it meant nothing. A husband who thinks it’s ok to cheat because his wife wasn’t as cheerful, as beautiful, as she used to be. A husband who thinks it’s ok to cheat because things weren’t the same as before they had children. A husband who regrets marrying you, when he is the one who begs you to marry him in the first place. And above all, a husband who thinks his wife is making a big deal about him cheating when it meant nothing. One quick question, how would you feel if your wife cheats on you? Would you say ‘it’s ok. No big deal’?

This is the latest novel I read. And it touches me the most. Before, when I was watching Life Unexpected, I do not understand why Cate and Baze freak out when Lux were dating her teacher. He’s hot kot! Ermmm errmm. And kind. there’s nothing wrong! He loves her, she loves him. Couldn’t they just be lover?

Then I read this book. And I was like woooooaaaa scary. It gives me a clear cut answer as why, when an adult, ‘did it’ with an underage girl, it’s considered rape, even though the girl agrees to it. Because girls are vulnerable. Easily manipulated. Virgin. And grown up man have lots of experience. They know who to pick.

One important thing I learn from this book is I need to talk to someone. About everything. No matter how shameful it is. And then, I need to listen to their advice. I MUST. Bak kata orang tua-tua ‘CINTA ITU BUTA’ . so any judgment I made during the period cannot be trusted. Because I’ve been blinded. Blinded by love.

Besides, ever heard Zee Avi’s ‘no wonder lah my friends pun tak suka you’.

And not all good looking guys are good guys. NOT ALL. Definitely not the sweet talker.

I want to talk more about this book but it gives me goose bump just thinking about it. You got to read it yourself. It’s about how a good looking teacher, raped and abused two beautiful young girls. You must read it. It’s worth it.

Ayu laughed at me when I told her I was reading. told ya they won't believe me. 

p/s : Big Bang’s comeback is on the way! :) and I saw one fancam where a fangirl pushed T.O.P. , just to give Daesung a letter. Fans are saying she’s stupid. How could she pushed T.O.P., the HANDSOME T.O.P. , the CHARISMATIC T.O.P. , for Daesung. I feel you girl. I might do the same thing. Not that I have anything against T.O.P., I like his voice, he is probably the best rapper I’ve ever heard, but I like funnier one better. And I’m bias when it comes to someone with big, amazing voice. Plus, I’m loyal to all F.O. season 1 cast :D

'snake has the prettiest smile' - Dorothy Kooson

Monday, February 13, 2012

"We read to know we are not alone," - C.S. Lewis

Assalamualaikum. :)

Taaada!

1st buku selain buku ilmiah yang I baca dalam masa 3 tahun? Ke 4? Eh habis maktab tahun 2007. Buku last baca harry potter waktu form 2.

Huh?

Dah 7 tahun tak baca buku?!

Patut otak berkarat. Sebelum ni yg waktu form 2 tu pun bukan baca selalu sangat pun. setahun sekali je. :’(
Ni kalau ain tahu ni mesti dia bangga. Seriously.

Semua budak rumah pun tahu I macam mana.

Kalau dah tak ada langsung laptop, tv, radio, hari hujan dengan lebatnya yang menghalang aktiviti luar ataupun dah terlebih sangat tidur sampai tak boleh nak tidur lagi dah, nak mengelamun pun dah tak ada benda nak dimengelamunkan, kalau memang betul tak ada option lain selain baca buku, baru I bukak buku.

Pilihan yang memang sangat terpaling akhir belaka sekali I pilih.

Betapa tak nak nya baca buku.

Buku pelajaran pun sama. Percaya tak kalau I cakap, I tak pernah habis study pun pape chapter sepanjang 21 tahun i hidup. contohnya kalau esok pagi exam, malam baru bukak buku. Tu pun 2 jam je. Kalau exam petang lagi lah. esok paginya baru baca. Nak habis study macam mananya. kadang-kadang kan, sebab I malu tengok semua orang study, I buat-buat baca buku. padahal. Hampeh.

Sangat lain dengan adik last i. dia memang gila buku. Gila sungguh! I share bilik dengan dia dan sangat jeles ok tengok rak buku dia penuh buku macam-macam warna. Dekat rumah rawang dulu, buku dia saja penuh satu rak. Tahu tak rak yang ada enam partition tu? Semua partition tu penuh dengan buku dia. eh, tak semua. Dua partition penuh dengan komik. Komik tu I yang baca. –.-“

Salah satu sebab kenapa I nak baca buku sekarang ni pun sebab jealous tengok rak buku dia. I pun nak satu macam tu!

Hopefully dapat habiskan satu buku ni. Amin.

Athirah fighting!

"We read to know we are not alone," - C.S. Lewis

Saturday, July 16, 2011