Dumped

Assalamualaikum

Last year I picked up a book from local writer titled "Dumped: A Journey of Lessons through Breakups, Mishaps and Misadventures" because I thought I was dumped and this book looks like something I needed at that time. lol. Although later I realised that I wasn't actually dumped (I know right, how blur can I be to interpret things the wrong way), I am still glad that I picked up this book.

This book is written by a Malay girl about her past mistakes and her failed relationship. What an odd combination I thought at first because honestly speaking, Malay, girl and speaking publicly about relationship do not go well with our traditional community. I mean, Malay girl was supposed to be shy, and naive and wait for our timba. Writing, talking about relationship, especially about how many guys you dated, guys you had flings with, is uncalled for a Malay girl. 

While I was reading her book, I got afraid, on her behalf. She wrote everything in detail. When she met those guys, where she met them, who they were in her life (not actual name), what went wrong and everything. I was afraid because reading those details, if I were her friend, or someone who knows her personally, it's easy for me to connect the dots and guess exactly who is who. Is she ok with that? For people to realise who she likes...even the ones she kept secret?

This scares me a lot. 

In my 7 years of blogging, never had I written anything about my actual relationship with any boy. Not that I have been in any but seriously, how naive do you thing I am to not have any near-relationship experience? lol. So I dropped vague hints here and there but it's so vague you could never guess who what where how why when. Which I was definitely okay with, until recently....because, this writer, Amal Nadiah, she showed me that all the mistakes, those fail relationships, they are a part of you. You can't fully tell a story about you if you omit that area of your life....and, is it really that scary when people find out that you like a guy? still? We're not in kindergarten anymore. No one will point at me and say "eeeeeeeee athirah suka xxxx eeeee athirah suka xxxx," 

No we're not and to be honest, I was just overthinking. As per Chris Rock, "no one gives a f*** about you," Besides, I think it will be nice for my future self to remember how at 27, there were moments where I could even thought that I was dumped haha....

p/s: next post would be about my recent near-something experience! we'll see... ok maybe not.....most probably not....ok never. haha.