Assalamualaikum
I reach another low in my life. I know right! Why I am always down lately. sigh So troublesome but then I figured if I can't write about my low moments, I better not write about happy ones because then this blog would be bias. I would be showing only the happy side of things when reality is, life's a struggle.
I have a very weird personality...I dream big things but I lose focus very easily! A trait that's so common to my friends that they don't even take whatever I say seriously anymore. Hangat hangat tahi ayam. The thing is, you have to keep doing the same thing over and over again to be well recognise for something. Like one of the Warehouse Manager from our company, he's very well known as lembab in giving responses. I acknowledge it, my lead acknowledge it heck even our new colleague acknowledge it!
So to be widely known with hangat-hangat tahi ayam, hmmmm you do the math.
My problem is I'm too lenient with myself. If one day I set my mind to do something but two months latter I gave up cause it's either too hard or too far to reach, I always allow myself to do so. Honestly, I am the spoil Generation Y. I gave up at first sight of problem. I never challenge myself. I stop caring long time ago. Even in Uni days, bad grades never gets in my way. I-don't-care-at-all.
I think maybe, maybe, it's all originated from when I was younger. There were times when I use to challenge myself. I was hard on myself....and I get hurt...deep. Whenever I got bad grades, it dragged me down for days and the look on my parents when they see the bad grades, I would never forget it. It hurt so so bad that I guess to stop caring is the easier option...the less hurt road.
I give up on myself. sigh. Why do I grow up to be this kind of person?
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