Assalamualaikum
[Written before my birthday]
By now it's no news that I love birthdays. Every year, without fail, I always do my own little silent countdown for my birthday. This year, no exception. However, this year, instead of looking forward to the surprises and special treatment I am going to receive, I am more excited for the public holiday. That break, is something that I really really need at the moment.
haha, sorry it's getting darker and darker, I am not mentally healthy right now, Anyway, here's what changes from last year:
1. Work wise, I have a completely new team now. Not even a single person left from the old team. Not having someone to lean on, this is the source of my stress at the moment. Being at the top is cold and lonely. You have to protect yourself and the people who follow you it's too much. I am obviously not at the top yet so this is not about me. This comes out from my observation of my bosses. Too many issues with this year audit and we were all so tired and demotivated but at least, if I decided to hide, I still I have my bosses above me...I still have them as a shield but them, they have no one. kesian kan?
2. Relationship wise, Dik Yah started going to uni so I am left with only Farid at home. Funny how life turns out this way. the ones who spent most time away from home growing up is the ones at home now.
3. Self development wise, I reach another low. Lower than I have ever been before. haih. Too much down moment this year and I had enough. I'm done surviving. I want to start living. I've lay out 9 months plan for the future and let's us all pray that I actually go through with the plan and well, succeeded. Let's keep it like this, if by June next year I don't write anything about this, assume I fail. :(
I've decided to give myself a task till my next birthday, so my task till 2017 is,
Start that thing
I know I am being vague right now but I don't want to jinx it so well, till next year. =)
[Updated]
Lol.....look at me and my dark moments. haha...I can laugh it off now but I really was very depressed at that time so I totally understand and sympathise with myself....I am ok now don't worry.
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